Planning your wedding can be stressful. Here are seven pieces of advice when planning your wedding.
Planning a wedding is special. It’s often fun. Even though you think you know everything about your partner and their family, there’s always something new you learn while sorting through the wedding process. While there are countless online guides and wedding coordinators to help you plan this most auspicious occasion, not too many people write about the stress you will encounter as you both plan this endeavor.
YOU’RE NORMAL FOR FEELING STRESSED WHILE PLANNING YOUR WEDDING!
First thing to keep in mind is that it’s okay to feel stressed when planning your wedding. It’s not all going to be kisses and giggles and easy solutions. Yes, you will both naturally feel closer due to the excitement of getting married, but the honeymoon period doesn’t arrive until after the wedding. You have to keep in mind that you’re spending a lot of money, your relatives are involved, your melding two family traditions, the deadlines keep piling up, and did I mention your relatives are involved? My god, your relatives are involved!
Here are five simple ways to curb the stress while planning your wedding.
1. PLAN A DATE NIGHT! A WEDDING FREE ZONE!
Whether or not you already have a date night, or you do them every once in a while, its time to start a weekly date night. This is a night where neither of you are allowed to talk about anything to do with your wedding. It is a wedding free zone! This is a time for the two of you to take a break from wedding planning and from your own thoughts. If you’re out at Big Buster’s Buns –N- Bogus Burgers and you just realized that United Nations Blue is the ideal color for your napkins, send yourself an email, and stuff your face with French fries before it blurts out of your mouth! You both need some separation from planning. It’s a must.
2. LET YOUR PARTNER WORK ON THINGS THEY’S EXCITED ABOUT
Especially in the beginning stages as you both tip-toeing into planning your wedding, start with something random and fun. If one of you is excited about surfing the web to find the coolest, hottest trending cocktails for your bar, even though you have yet to find your venue or tell your parents, go for it! Sometimes tackling your Wedding To Do List in order is a boring, uninspiring, often overwhelming way to go about it. Sure, at some point you’ll have to tackle your list with the closest approaching deadlines first, but for the first few weeks to a month, let the both of you tackle some of the fun ones first. It will inspire you and take away the fear of tackling the laundry list of chores you have to manage, easier.
3. DON’T FORGET ABOUT YOUR HONEYMOON
Planning a honeymoon is an important part of wedding planning. Even if you are planning to stay at home the Sunday following your wedding and then heading back to work that Monday. You both must prioritize your Honeymoon. A picnic, 24 hours under the covers, a weekend retreat, or a month abroad, it is important for your relationship that you make something special for just the two of you. It will feel fun to plan it too. It should be something that gets discussed with the same importance as planning your wedding.
4. TALK TO YOUR MARRIED FRIENDS ABOUT PLANNING THEIR WEDDING
It’s fun talking to your parents or relatives about their wedding, but more importantly, you should both talk to your friends about their wedding experience. Have another couple over for dinner and ask them how their wedding planning went and what tips they have to pass on. Share with them your ups and downs. Hearing the process other couples go through will help you feel more human and it’s a great bonding conversation. Who doesn’t like being asked about their wedding!
5. CUSTOMIZE A WEDDING MEETING THAT FITS YOU BOTH
Before you even start, work out a customized system that works for the both of you to plan your wedding. Think outside the box. It will feel so much easier to tackle your wedding planning if you are both on the same page with expectations, work load levels, and set up times to work on it.
What time of the week works best for you? How long should we work each time? Will listening to music help or hurt? If you do A, B, and C, I’ll happily do D, E, and F. What should we munch on or drink next week? Should we go buy some fun, new, office supplies to keep ourselves organized? What if we created a new joint email account to keep
6. DITCH THE KITCHEN TABLE
Changing up where you have your meetings will also make them fun. They don’t always have to take place at the kitchen table. Get out doors! Go on a picnic. Bring your laptop to the local diner or coffee shop. Have a technology free meeting and only bring pen and paper (remember when you used to write on paper!)
7. CREATE A WEDDING PLANNING SAFEWORD
You don’t have to bound in ropes or handcuffs for you both to have a safeword. When you’re in the throws of wedding planning, your mind is always on your wedding day. Often we have no idea how many times during the day we just start rambling on to our partners about a random wedding thought we just had. Creating a wedding planning safeword is great way to let your partner know you need a break without having to go into an explanation.
If you’re in the grocery store shopping, and you’re partner jumps into trying to solve the seating chart fiasco for the thirteenth time this week, and you just can’t endure one more conversation about it until your next meeting, then its time to scream out the safeword. “Sasquatch!” There. You both understand that one of you can’t do anymore wedding planning for the moment, there’s no hard feelings, and you carry on with your day. Creating a funny, random phrase or safeword can make all the difference.
Now go out there, stay lighthearted, and have fun planning your wedding!